Living Simply… Parenting by Instinct

I am approaching 36 weeks of pregnancy and I’m beginning to get restless. I am longing for the end but I’m strangely dreading it too. It’s not the birth, I feel more prepared and confident for that then for anything I’ve ever done. This baby just seems to tell me that for him or her, an undisturbed birth is best. What I’m worried about is adding another small person to our life. Especially, our life without Nic around all the time. It was different with Xander as Austin is more low key and has never been demanding unlike my youngest who needs so much more from me. Xander is still nursing alot and I’m concerned about his reaction to sharing not only Mama but bobbies too. He is very jealous of both Austin and his daddy when I give them attention. I’m just less sure the closer we get to the end how this is all going to play out. I’m also anxious to finally hold my baby. I don’t endorse induction for logistical or comfort reasons but as much as I love being pregnant and all the attendant physical coolness of it; I can understand having a hard time waiting as it gets nearer my time. I wish the baby would come before the EDD for many reasons. I’m uncomfortable sure but more longing for that two week burst of insane energy I got immediately following my live births. And I mean immediately. With Austin, I had been sick in bed for a week prior to his birth, first with a UTI then with a bad reaction to the antibiotics to treat the UTI. But after I had so much energy I paced the hospital with my newborn, annoying nurses for three days till they finally set me free. With Xander, I flew out of the hospital in less than twelve hours; it would have been less than three but they made me stay after my doc induced hemorrage to make sure it was under control. I was outta there so fast the nursing desk didn’t know what happened and the lab tech who came for the baby blood tests was very confused. Anyway, dear reader its late and that’s the gist of my musings for tonight. Thanks for listening.

Everyone I know in town is asking me if we’re “going to start” home schooling Austin next year. Most of these conversations are very casual and way too brief to really get into the idea of unschooling and the concept of aiding vs “teaching” so I’m kinda at a loss as to how broach the idea that we’ve never begun we’ve always been home schooling and end up just mumbling “yeah.” How would any of you deal with this subject, dear readers? Most of these people are willing to be educated. Most didn’t even realize that the government doesn’t enforce a curiculumn and that you are allowed to home school past grade eight. Several home schooling families in our area have been told (by whom is never clear) that they can only keep their kids home until high school age. People are entitled to maintain their ignorance of the rules if they choose but I take issue with them spreading misinformation to others without proof. You are at least in Ontario, entitled to educate your children as you see fit. The onus is on the government education system or anyone who files a complaint to prove you derelict in your duty. The assumption is that you are providing a sufficient education and you can provide home instruction into the college years if you and your child wish to. So, rest easy, Ontario parents, and disregard any information to the contrary even if it comes from your local school. Most times the people misinforming others are not evil but simply ignorant. Go to the source, my friends, let the misinformation stop here.

So despite lacking an absolute diagnosis mostly because mental health services are as sorely lacking here as our physical health services, I am of the belief that I am either bipolar II or at the very least cyclothymic. So now I am seeking some help but I don’t want to jump on the chemical band wagon just yet. I’ve researched 5-HTP, St. John’s Wort, and Omega 3s. 5-HTP has some sketchy anecdotes and the science is lacking. Also not recommended for pregnancy and nursing, both of which I’m doing. St. John’s Wort has the same side effects as chem anti-depressants which for bipolar could push into mania. I’m trying the Omega 3s in the form of fish oil capsules which according to both anecdotes and preliminary studies appears to work as well as lithium in some cases and to compliment the lithium in others. I’m hoping it will help stabilize my moods and if it works bonus because it will not adversely effect my fetus or my nursling. Cross your fingers for me dear reader.

Let me rant at you for a moment. Let’s talk about the terms we all use when discussing childbirth and choice. I’m talking about words like “allow” “let” and “policy”. We talk about health care workers allowing us to go X weeks overdue or X hours of active labour before having to do a c-section; we talk about allowing food and drink or not; about letting women move around freely or having a policy of EMF monitoring, IV or epidurals. A friend of my sister’s was recently talking about how her sister was disappointed because she wanted a normal birth and was told she had to have an epidural for reasons unclear to me. WAKE UP WOMEN! It’s your birth and your body. No one need give you permission to do anything. I am completely amazed that in a medical society where refusal of chemo or blood transfusions are everyday and ordinary; where no one thinks twice of suing doctors for going against a patient’s wishes, that maternity care providers are still permitted to be gods and make choices for their clients. In this atmosphere of everyone knowing their rights, judges are still making blatently illegal rulings like the recent forced c-sections that have been in the news in the last few years. WOMEN STAND UP AND TAKE BACK YOUR RIGHTS! You know what is best for you and your body. Stop deferring to these “experts” who claim rights over your wellbeing because as a woman with child you suddenly forfeit all control. Okay, I’m done now.

So since I lost my pirated wi fi signal I know I’ve been real quiet … well, silent in fact. Well, I have now figured out how to log on using my mobile’s web browser. So I’m back. So quick update we’re well into the third trimester and still no second thoughts about firing my midwife. My instincts tell me this is right. All is well family wise except for a little loneliness for Nic. I’ll be more frequently online now and I just need to get my user names and passwords and I’ll start blogging on my other blogs too.