Living Simply… Parenting by Instinct

I’ve been thinking about what it means to raise a daughter vs a son. I mean all my activism on the fronts of birth, pregnancy, breast feeding, and parenting takes on a whole new aspect. I realize changing societal views will affect my sons too but I’m not sure it’s necessarily valid but it feels like it would have a more intimate impact on my girl child. I’ve now had to consider the body issues and peer problems that boys seem to avoid or if not completely avoid they don’t have the long lasting effects that they have on girls. I realize she’s only a week old but the ramifications stagger me.

Everyone I know in town is asking me if we’re “going to start” home schooling Austin next year. Most of these conversations are very casual and way too brief to really get into the idea of unschooling and the concept of aiding vs “teaching” so I’m kinda at a loss as to how broach the idea that we’ve never begun we’ve always been home schooling and end up just mumbling “yeah.” How would any of you deal with this subject, dear readers? Most of these people are willing to be educated. Most didn’t even realize that the government doesn’t enforce a curiculumn and that you are allowed to home school past grade eight. Several home schooling families in our area have been told (by whom is never clear) that they can only keep their kids home until high school age. People are entitled to maintain their ignorance of the rules if they choose but I take issue with them spreading misinformation to others without proof. You are at least in Ontario, entitled to educate your children as you see fit. The onus is on the government education system or anyone who files a complaint to prove you derelict in your duty. The assumption is that you are providing a sufficient education and you can provide home instruction into the college years if you and your child wish to. So, rest easy, Ontario parents, and disregard any information to the contrary even if it comes from your local school. Most times the people misinforming others are not evil but simply ignorant. Go to the source, my friends, let the misinformation stop here.

Now I’m into my 25th week of pregnancy. This one is more challenging than the others and at the same time more relaxing. I am more challenged to get enough food, water and rest, what with chasing two toddlers around. I’m also challenged because my husband is only home for weekends. My tail bone tends to ache more in this one and I tend to get irritated unfairly (usually) with the boys, some of which I attribute to still nursing Xander.

On the other hand, this is more relaxing because my prenatal check up take place on my own couch. I don’t have to arrange appointments, drag the kids to some office somewhere and don’t have to fight against all the testing that I feel is redundant, useless and/or dangerous. 

Sorry, Internet, for not writing very much. Summer makes it hard to sit down and blog when you want to be gardening or playing outside and I’ve recently lost my home connection so I have to pack up the kids and visit the library to connect to you. I’ll try to post more often.

I visited my family down south earlier this month. I realized this morning I hadn’t blogged about it yet. We stayed with my mom and dad for one week. It was a good visit. Both my sisters came too, my middle sister with her little ones so my boys had playmates, and they played really well together. That Sunday we had a barbecue with all my relatives from both my parents’ families, many of whom had never seen Xander and hadn’t seen Austin for almost two years. We went to the zoo on Thursday with my dad too which was nice. I think the kids were a bit too young for the zoo, my boys seemed to tune it all out after a while; Charity’s little guys seemed more into it. Our new-to-us double stroller got a good workout anyway. The driving part was the worst. Austin got a bit of a bug on Wednesday and threw up a few times. We just figured it was too much sun (after all the temperature from home to my folks is like the difference between early spring and late summer) but when Xander spent the whole trip north to my in-laws throwing up we figured maybe a bug was going around. He was much better the next day but unfortunately, I caught it too. I spent most of the day in my room at my in-laws trying to make sure they didn’t get it. But all in vain, they too caught the bug a few days later. But mysterious illness aside it was a very good trip. 

So I am almost 12 weeks, on Wednesday so yay! I don’t anticipate any problems with this pregnancy. I’ve had no spotting and with all five miscarriages I had spotting by this point or earlier. I haven’t had the heart issues I had in first trimester with Xander either so that’s nice. I did not enjoy those three days in hospital and neither did Austin. He was only 15 months old and Daddy had left us three months earlier to go to Hearst a month before we did, so I was his rock. Then I end up in hospital and was there for over 24 hours before my inlaws brought him to see me. That’s around the time he began to suck his thumb. Poor baby. But at least I’ll have this one at home so I won’t upset Xander’s normalcy like I did with Austin.

So Nic is trying to make me go see the midwife. Just once or twice but I’m putting it off. I want to do this one by myself. I’m debating about whether I even want Nic there when the baby’s born. He just gets so upset when I’m in labour, its distracting. Well, I will make up my mind by the time I get back from our little holiday down south. We’re visiting my parents for a week starting on May 1 and coming back on May 9th. It should be fun. I haven’t been that far south since Austin was 1.